Dave's year has been eventful. He moved home — it's nice to have him and the girls close again. He just moved into a bigger place because... He's having another baby! And getting married! Over achiever… LOL! It's exciting to be an aunt again, and to have a sister could be very cool. I know Dave and I get along well, but there are just certain things you can't talk about with a brother. Speaking of sisters, McKenzie has some beautiful ideas for the wedding, and even some ways to make sure you're there. Planning the wedding without you will be hard, but I'll do my best to make sure you're proud. First thing to check off the to-do list: find a date, cuz I'm not going stag to my brothers wedding! If you have any tricks up your sleeve, make sure to work some magic ;)
Dad had a rough year, but he made it in one piece. Well, I guess he's actually missing a few pieces now, but let's not get picky. Bottom line: he's doing really well. I'm glad you were listening when we chatted a few months ago. His apartment feels more and more like a home every time I visit. I think he's much more comfortable than he was this time last year. People in the building recognize me when I come to visit and ask me how dad is doing, and even express concern if they haven't see him in a while. His neighbour, Anna, is really nice. She really likes Buddy and buys him treats and toys often. What a suck.
Your sister is as good as ever. Aunt Penny decided it was time to cash in her casino chips and retire. She and John spent a few weeks this summer sailing the Trent/Severn system and it sounded incredible. It made me want to rent a boat and do it myself; my sea legs haven't been stretched in a while. Thank you for the 15 years on the lake when we were kids. Is there anything better than being on the water?
I spoke to Aunt Colleen the other day. She has such a positive attitude it's amazing. She and Bob have a lot of travel planned over the next year: Portugal, Florida, another cruise… She's living her best life.
As for me… There's a lot of the same old, but I did a few things you might be interested in.
Work has been fun lately. I've been learning a lot and doing some design work that I haven't been able to do in a long time. I'm also advising around content and even doing a bit of project management. It's a great project because it's a collaborative effort, both in my department and across other areas of the organization. It's the way I love to work, and we are creating something that everyone loves and is proud of. I know my job has always overwhelmed and confused you, but I miss your open ear. You'd let me ramble on about stuff you never understood and never bat an eye, even though you must have been bored out of your mind.
I conquered a bit of a fear a few months ago: I stripped down to my birthday suit and went swimming. To most this might seem like no big deal, but for someone who's struggled with body issues and self-acceptance her entire life it was something I thought I'd never be able to do. When I finally took the plunge it felt like I'd left more than my pajamas on the dock — I was able to shed a tiny bit of my insecurity as well. I know you'll get it... and I hope you're laughing :)
I made some ballsy moves this year I think you'd be proud of. I got a few bumps and bruises along the way, but I'm healing. Embarrassment and vulnerability are hard to recover from, but as you would say: better to try and fail than not try at all. After the last few years and getting some perspective I'm starting to realize that living your life with regrets isn't living. I'm still trying to embrace it, but I definitely took some strides in the right direction.
I came across a quote this year that reminded me so much of you. It's something you'd totally say to David and I so I'm trying to take it to heart:
I gave you life to live, now go and live it.
I'm thinking about getting it tattooed with some angel wings to honour you. Don't worry it'll be tasteful, and when it's done you can tell all your friends up there, just like you did when I got my other tattoos. Don't pretend to hate it because you're a horrible liar.
I started this letter over a week ago, and I've been trying to find the courage to finish it. As I sit in the same place where I started this, I feel a lovely fall breeze blowing through the window, and I find myself looking around for you. I think it might be a sign to say goodbye for now. Sometimes I feel like I'm crazy when I talk to you, but there's a part of me that feels like you can still hear me, and I take a lot of comfort in that. All my love, and keep taking care of us from wherever you are.
